HOW FB STOLE MY BRAIN:  the plain unvarnished truth as revealed through private diary excerpts:

A Friday in AUGUST:   I love FB, it is filled with such fun and loving activities from my large family. We live all over the country and it pulls us into a close circle. Almost like a group hug.

11:00 pm: who can understand kids? One of the main reasons I joined FB was to keep up with my nieces and nephews.  Blue Niece put something on FB that scared the bejusus out of me, I thought that she was suicidal and I panicked, I didn’t have time to care if I embarrassed her in front of her friends. Then I found out that her post was simply some song lyrics that she liked. Well who would like such morbid downer crap?  Now she is calling me a creeper. I don’t know what that is but I don’t think it is good.

Saturday: Morning coffee, opening FB and Red nephew has posted an old photo of the two of us. Sweet!  I am sure he is trying to make me feel better after the family panic and ripple effect I caused last night. But why don’t kids call their Aunts Aunt anymore?

I love FB, my brother in law grows the most gorgeous flowers that he shares with us all!

Afternoon:   FB is so irritating, the spelling is atrocious and the grammar is offensive.

I am annoyed.  Ms. Obsequious likes everything within 2 seconds of posting. And why is she ‘liking’ something from 4 years ago? It brings the old photo back to the top of the feed. This is not scrapbooking!

Purple Niece thinks a ‘party line’ is where you line up for shots at a party. I need to get Lily Tomlin’s record, “This Is a Recording”, for her but I doubt she has a record player.

I am trying to see if my sister has posted photos of her bike trip and I have to scroll though endless baby and animal posts. Does anyone remember when we actually went weeks without taking a photo?

And Sally Stupinda is a fatuous dunderhead. I cannot believe she does not check her facts before posting. Does she not know she is voting against her own self interests?

And the spelling and grammar, I am disgusted, going to stay off here the rest of the day.

Saturday 5:30: I am only going on to check on my Mom since she has not returned my phone call. I see she is on FB talking about all the genealogy research she did today. That is quite the positive, her finding all those connections. Even if they can’t spell.